We Erns His Money We Duz

I aint ‘appy, I aint ‘appy arall. We’ve just got back frum Jamaica (I calls it Didyamakeher) to a shite loada FOIs askin’ how much dosh my Byron makes, of course he makes loadsa money but he earns it, we just got back frum Didyamakeher doin’ this study fer the council on turtles and it were real dangerous it were, one of them turtles coulda bitten us, well they coulda if they’d bin there, apparently we went at the wrong time of year ta sees ‘em, but it cuda ‘appened. Also we wuz swimmin’ in the sea an’ sum dollyfins swam by, those dollyfind cuda bin sharks and they is dangerous too. I got sunburnt on me bum, that wuz dangerous, luckily fer me one of the local boys spotted it an’ spent an hour rubbin’ sum of his special lotion onto it. Also I’s got really, really drunk an’ cuda got alcohol poisionin’, agin I wuz luck coz one of da local boys helped me to me room, I still carnt find the fong I wuz wearin’. So you sees how dangerous it is! We is goin’ ta Colorado next ta do a study about skeeyin’ fer the council now thar is dangerous!