There aint no pleasin’ some peeps! Everyone wuz whingin’ abowt West shore bin bland so I said to my Byron, “I know Byron, I’ll dos somma me artwork there” warra great idea he said. Now that it turns out I gorra couple a quids fer doin’ it everyones goin’ barmy, silly bleeders. I fink it looks the bees knees an’ am sure everyone else does but theys just jumpin’ on the band lorry.
Me next projects gonna be on the prom an’ beach, I’s gonna do sommat really unique .... bronze statues of geezers just standin’ there an’ the tide washes ova them, great ideas I as ya know. I aint really sure whata charge but wes lookin arra new gaff on Deganwy key so its gorra covva that aint it.
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5 comments:
"bronze statues of geezers just standin’ there an’ the tide washes ova them,"
How about just sticking a few councillors out there and letting the tide wash over them?
Awight Lizardy fing wot changes colour,
Yous aint gerrin the point is ya, if an’ its councillors I don’t ger any dosh do I an’ I aint an artist fer nothin’ ya know.
Dear Mrs. Byron,
As part of the £26m renovation of Colwyn Bay Promenade, we will be requiring several pieces of Public Art. We believe that you are the 'Preferred Provider' of Public Art to Conwy Council, so would like to order 2 of your best pieces please and are willing to pay £50,000 per piece. We were thinking that something of a military nature would look quite nice, maybe some cannons or similar?
Kind Regards,
CCBC
Cheeky bleeder!
I aint takin' a pay cut, yous already signed the contract fer double that.
Funny yaw should mention cannons cos I aint got none and I's nevva seen or bin offered any an' I's denies any knowledge of 'em an' they aint mine, I dunno how they got there an' thats all I is sayin' on the matta
Dear Mrs Byron,
As part of the recent Defence Procurement Review, we have been tasked with cutting spending on military hardware by 98%. As such, you are the first beneficiary of our new policy which seeks to acquire redundant military hardware currently in private ownership.
We believe you are currently in possession of two four hundredweight cannons and would like to purchase them from you for £50 each. We do appreciate that the price offered is somewhat low but you can rest assured that you will be performing a valuable service to the fighting men of our country (something which I know you did frequently in the past when you worked at that strip club...do you remember me, tall guy, waxed moustache, touch of gout?)
Madam, I remain your obedient servant,
General Francis U. Kitupp DSO B&Q
Defence Procurement Dept
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